Online Dating Advantages

Many people are against online dating and of course you do hear the horror stories. If you are careful and safe, online dating can be a way to lead you to many amazing people. I know many couples that have been together quite sometime that met online…I happened to be of them and celebrated my 4 year anniversary just yesterday. For those of you already doing the online dating thing, good luck and hope you find what you’re looking for! Of course you can debate the advantages and disadvantages of online dating endlessly, but let’s look at the advantages of online dating websites and be positive about this new way of meeting people.

1. Because online dating is more about interacting by email and other electronic means than it is about admiring each other’s looks, who you are plays a greater part from the beginning than it does in an offline relationship.

2. Anonymity is also an advantage of online dating websites because it allows people to speak more freely.

3. You can rule people out based on their profile while selecting others who look interesting based on their profile information – definitely a big advantage of online dating over offline.

4. The factor in 3 above means that you save a lot of time in finding the right person.

5. If you are rejected by someone online it affects you less than if you were dating face-to-face: that has to be another amongst the big advantages of online dating websites.

6. Online dating is generally safer than offline dating. You don’t share your contact details with someone until you are really sure you want to, someone you have been talking to for a while and with whom you feel comfortable.

7. It’s very exciting! Offline dating is very exciting too of course, but the power and functionality you have in looking at lots of people’s profiles and contacting lots of people who sound nice is a very stimulating thing in itself!

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Simple…Yet Romantic

For those of you into the zodiac, I am an Aries…if you’re familiar with the characteristics of that sign, then you know getting bored easily is one of them. I have to be on the go constantly to not get bored. Luckily I married someone that is very go with the flow and up for anything. If your like me in YOUR relationship, then you are the one always planning everything. Sometimes its nice to be able to sit back and relax while someone plans something for you…even though its fun being the spontaneous one, sometimes its nice to take a break. When your in a relationship for a long time, routine may start to fade the romance away a bit. It’s up to both partners to keep that fun, passion, and all those little things that made you fall in love…ALIVE. Creating magical moments in your relationship is something everyone thinks about, but few people do. Perhaps it’s because they actually can’t think of exactly what to do. Here are some “acts of love” that you can do with and for your partner to bring a little more romance into your relationship. Plus with Valentine’s Day around the corner, why not try some of these ideas now.

  • Make your morning time special by bringing your partner a cup of coffee or some OJ while he or she is still in bed. If you’re willing and able you can also serve them breakfast in bed. It will make your partner feel cherished and the kindness will be returned.
  • Make the time at the end of the work-day when you first see one another extra special by giving each other a 10 second hug and kiss. You will both feel more deeply connected throughout the evening. Also remember to touch your partner affectionately throughout the day, not just when you want to be romantic.
  • Make time to make-time. Plan a romantic rendezvous during the week. You can get a room at a local hotel or plan to have the house all to yourselves. Just the anticipation of being together in this way will add spark to your romantic life.
  • Whenever you can, take the time to give your partner 100% of your attention when they want to talk to you. Put down the remote control, whatever you’re reading or your phone, face your partner and say “What would you like to talk about?” It will make your partner feel loved and important to you. And they may have some news they would like to share with you anyway.
  • Take the time to tell your partner that they look wonderful, beautiful, sexy or great. We all have doubts about our looks and hearing that we are attractive to our partners is a very important part of creating a romantic relationship.
  • Before you leave in the morning tell your partner that you are looking forward to seeing them when you return. Never leave the house without acknowledging your partner or saying, “I love you.”
  • Next time you are shopping alone, get a couple of little “surprise gifts” for your partner. The next time he or she is feeling down, give them one of the gifts. This is a wonderful and uplifting act of love and it will be remembered for a very long time.
  • If your partner is having a rough day offer to take them out or make dinner for them. If they are the one usually doing the cooking this will be a welcome change and a sign of your appreciation. If they are experiencing stress at work, it will be a great way for them to unwind from a tough day.
  • Be spontaneous and kidnap your partner for a drive up the coast for lunch or dinner. This is a wonderfully romantic and very simple thing to do. If you want to be a little more extravagant, you can choose to spend the night at a Bed & Breakfast and drive home the next day.
  • This one is terribly romantic, so don’t try it unless you’re ready for a passionate evening. Get your partner two or more roses. Take one of them and pull off the petals. Drop the petals on the floor leading to the bedroom and place several petals on the bed. Put the other roses in a vase on the nightstand. Your partner will never forget your thoughtfulness.

Don’t try to do everything on this list in the same weekend, one a month is plenty. These ideas are just a little help to get you started. Once you get going, more ideas will come to you on their own. Taking the time to create romance in your relationship is paramount to creating a fulfilling love life. Even if you think your ideas are silly, your partner will be thrilled that you took the time to do something loving for them. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. And it will spice up your sex life, no doubt!

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What I’ve Learned about Marriage in 2013

2013 I hit 3 years of being married. Having been very public about my separation on social media, I can honestly say it’s been very therapeutic for me and inspirational for others. I am nothing special, I’m just a woman that wants to be loved and adored like any other. Love hit me like a ton of bricks, hard and unexpected. But like anything else, it can’t always be fun and games. I can’t even remember when and how things got to where they are now between my husband and I. All I know is both sides aren’t perfect and have made mistakes.
This year, as a married woman, I’ve learned that when you love someone it can feel like you’re invincible one second and like you’re losing your mind the next. We as people make bad choices sometimes and fail to realize that we are only cheating ourselves and scaring those we truly love.
We were all taught how to love differently growing up. All we can do is love our spouses the best we can, appreciate them for all that they are, be patient, forgive as much as we can, but continue to love ourselves too.
As individuals we all have our weaknesses and strengths; but together, we have to figure out how they all mesh well enough to make things work.
I grew up with parents that have been married over 40 years, they’ve been an amazing example of what to do and not do in a marriage, no matter how angry you are your spouse still comes first, and just because vows were broken doesn’t mean you have to throw your vows out the window. In marriage, every couple makes their own rules and handles things differently.
The both of us have inner demons and struggles we need to overcome, that doesn’t mean there isn’t any love between us. With the new year approaching I know what I have to do on my end of the marriage for my husband, the both of us, and especially for myself. Only a higher power knows the future so all I can do is work with what I have in the present and leave the past behind.

To others going through martial struggles: It doesn’t matter what differences your spouse and you have, how much therapy you go through, what advice is given to you, & what your mind tells you…you can’t help who your heart loves. Do what makes you happy, take things day by day, and if you feel it in your gut not to quit, then don’t.
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No Tears This Time

Sitting at the airport I’m reminiscing about the last time I was here…just a few months ago actually. Newly separated, no sleep, feeling empty, I walked into the airport and felt like I was the only one there. As crowded and noisy as an airport could be, it was so quiet to me, I swear I could hear my heartbeat. I literally cried from walking into the airport till I reached my destination. Did people turn their heads and look at me? Of course they did, I was crying so badly you would’ve thought I was just at a funeral. When you’re that wounded, you could careless what people think.

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That was the first time I was traveling without my husband by my side. I’ll admit, I felt guilty and like there was something missing. How could I not…we went everywhere together.
My getaway at that time was suppose to be nothing but fun in the sun, to get my mind off things, to aid in my healing process. But…how are you suppose to enjoy yourself with a broken heart? Well…you don’t, plain and simple. As much as I tried not to, I literally cried everyday, never got out of pajamas, and wasted all the breathtaking scenery around me because of my sadness. Talk about a waste, I just didn’t have it in me to enjoy myself, I really did try.
This time around months have past, things have changed, and though I’m not as strong as I’d like to be I’m in a better place. Being separated has taught me so much about what I need to do for me, all I have in my life, which people matter the most, & if someone has to choose between you and something or someone else it’s better to let them go. If a person really loves you…there would NOT be any choices to make, YOU would be it. As much as you’d like to shake someone to wake up and realize what they’ll lose, it’s impossible to make someone realize they’re on the verge of losing every single thing they’ve always wanted. You can’t fix damaged people even if you love them with all your might.

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I’m sitting in the airport right now, with butterflies of excitement in my tummy and a smile so big it looks painted on face. I can not wait to smell that coastal breeze, feel the sand between my toes, drink margaritas made with homegrown limes, wake up to golden sunrises, go to bed after fiery sunsets, and most of all be with my bestie who’s like a sister to me and her boys that are my nephews. I know good karma is on my side because I gave with all my heart and soul and without expecting ANYTHING in return.

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My family is my never ending strength that loves me unconditionally no matter what decisions I make, my close friends keep my grounded and help me see different views on things, and the new acquaintances that have entered into my life have been a breath of nothing but laughs and positive fresh air. Life isn’t perfect, but the people that are in mine make it pretty close and that in itself makes ME shine beautifully.

aprilmaemonterrosaApril M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, & Owner of The Lil Spa Room,  PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, & freelance beauty writer. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, & travel adventures. Don’t forget to subscribe!