Step-Families & Smartphones

I belong to a few step family and step mom social media groups, one of the most common questions that gets posted is about the blended families being on each other’s social media pages. Some families agree with being on their step children’s parents social media pages to be able to see what they are doing and get pictures. Now while most blended families would disagree with this, in my opinion, it all depends on the situation. In my case, I am very open on my face book page; every person on my friends list knows me personally, my family, or is a close client. Though I think my stepdaughter’s mom is really cool and we get along well, I feel that I am not that close to her (yet) to share some of my personal posts. My husband no longer has any social media pages and other social sites I am on, like Twitter and Instagram, are public because I don’t mind sharing those.

I understand Facebook is a great tool to exchange pictures, but for blended families, there is a possibility it can also stir up harsh feelings, cause drama, and I don’t think exes need to keep tabs on you and your spouse’s whereabouts and vice versa. Some things are just not sharable and some families don’t even get along at all to even want to be on each other’s social media pages.

Email and texting is another great way to exchange pictures and video, but when you have tons of pictures (as I usually do) and big video files, email and text does have a limit and you are not able to share them that way. The best thing that has worked for my husband and I, is Dropbox.

dropbox-logoWhat’s Dropbox? “Dropbox is a home for all your photos, docs, videos, and files. Anything you add to Dropbox will automatically show up on all your computers, phones (android and iphone) and even the Dropbox website — so you can access your stuff from anywhere.

With the Smartphone craze these days, everyone has downloaded an app or two on their phones. The Dropbox app is a free download and service (unless you need more memory) and can be accessed anywhere. I even use it for work files and sharing pictures with my family. I take lots of pictures and video wherever I go, it is time consuming to have to upload them to the computer and then break them down into emails. With Dropbox, we click on all the pictures we want to share with my step daughter’s mom, upload them to her Dropbox folder, and she can view all of them in minutes due to the shared folder feature. With the shared folder feature, you can add anyone to the folder via email to have access to any of your folders.

Dropbox can also be downloaded to your laptop, desktop, and tablets. If you ever lost any of your devices or got them wet, your pictures, videos, and files are safe in your Dropbox folders and you can access them anywhere you can log into your Dropbox account. To learn more about Dropbox, check out their website. With such a neat and handy app, there should be no reason for blended families not to share pictures and videos of the children between them. Please share this idea with other step families.

For Stepmoms on Facebook, be sure to visit this great Support page: https://www.facebook.com/StepmomSupportPage

Shine Beautifully

 

 

 

 

 

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Step Mom Stories 1

Today my husband and I went Halloween costume shopping for my bonus child (aka stepdaughter). This was the first time I went shopping for my favorite holiday, in one of my favorite stores for someone other than myself. If you knew me personally and how much I love Halloween, you’d understand. We had so much fun on our mission to find the complete Elsa costume. It may be early September, but as big of a hit Disney’s Frozen was, some places are already sold out. After driving out of town and to the opposite end of the city from our home, the mission was accomplished.  Luckily the Party City team was very helpful in our search and was the main reason we found everything easily.

Something happened today though. After all the laughter, fun, and excitement, there was pure silence between my husband and me on our way home. I wasn’t sure if he was angry, upset, or sad. Come to find out, it was all of the above. I think it finally hit my husband that he (we) are not a part of many big events in his daughters life. Sure we have summers, holidays, Face time, Skype, and pictures. But that is not the same as walking her to the first day of school, waking up at night because she is sick, taking her trick or treating, and going to school plays. Divorce and living in different states changes so many things between parents and their children.

shine beautifully

This is my second time being a step mom; it is very challenging. I am grateful that my step daughter’s mother and I get along; everyone is on the same page when it comes to behavior issues, and we are able to speak with her daily. Everyone’s relationship has changed drastically in the last couple of years and for the better. There are just some things as a step parent that you have no say so in, feel like your opinion doesn’t matter, and most of all fix things to make them easier for everyone.

Being a step parent, as much as you’re involved, you are still an outsider looking in. It was hard for me to see my husband so down and out today. Not only did he miss out on many things in his daughters earlier years, now that he has spent time with her and misses her, it’s harder to not be a part of her everyday life. Sadness filled his face as he told me we were going to miss out on Halloween, we will always miss the first day of school, and there’s got to be some way we can change that to where we can all get to enjoy those things. As his wife and the step parent, I was quiet and listened. I told him he needs to be honest and if he wants more information, time to talk to his daughter, pictures, and Skype time; it’s OK to ask for that.

I am all about communication to change things for the better. He was not raised that way and is learning that is how things get solved. Eggshells are constantly walked on in situations like these because the feelings of very different people are involved. I hope we can somehow make this separation not feel as rough as it has been for him. As a spouse, it’s hard to see your other half sad and missing his child. Like I said, being a step parent is very challenging. I plan on sharing my step parent stories to reach out to other step parents. I want them to know they are not alone.

Husband Modeling his Daughter's Elsa Costume

Husband Modeling his Daughter’s Elsa Costume

 

 

Step Daughter Goodies

When my step daughter was visiting this summer, we had something in common. We love the beauty world! What we sometimes fail to realize is the cartoon characters and things little girls watch on TV and pay attention to influence how they think a girl should look. My step daughter paid very close attention to me when I applied my makeup, polished my nails, and especially when I did my hair. Because she was so interested, I made sure to show her a few beauty tricks too. She even went back home with a new brush and mirror set, lip gloss, and lots of hair accessories. We had so much fun!
Thankfully, due to social media I’m able to keep in touch with many old high school friends. I’ve been admiring the pictures my friend has been posting of the headbands and other hair accessories she creates herself. I purchased a few with the characters my step daughter likes; she’s going to be so excited when she receives them.
Thought I’d share some pics with ya: