With Love Mom; Happy Mother’s Day

Being a mom doesn’t come with an instruction manual; heck sometimes I don’t even know if I’m taking care of my dachshund right, I can  only imagine what it’s like to be a mother. My mom didn’t grow up in a very stable, loving home; her parents weren’t the affectionate, supportive, or loving type. No telling what went through her mind when she had me or how she made motherhood look so easy since she didn’t have such a great example. I think god picks certain women to be moms, in my mother’s case, I think she was chosen to be a mom to get the kind of love she never received from her childhood through us. With everything my brothers and I have been through good and bad, it’s my mom that takes all of it to heart. She’s the one that worries about us, has sleepless nights when we were out with friends or out of town, calls us every day and night to see how our day went, or just to ask if we are doing ok.  If anyone knows my deepest secrets, when I’m scared, worried, sad, mad, and truly happy, it’s her. I remember growing up in my teenage years, she would always say, “I am being the best mom I can be”…even though she doubted herself sometimes, she is the best mom anyone could have. 465520_306229499438750_918679945_o

My middle school years I could not stand my mom, she got on my nerves. Everything she said made my skin crawl, plus I knew it all and she was always wrong. Haha! Ok, so I’m totally kidding…but you know how middle school age girls act.  High school came around and she was the coolest thing ever. She would pick up all our friends, treat us to the movies or theme parks, and take them home after.  If anyone knew when I first fell in love, first was intimate with a boy, having 4 Valentine dates in one day, or when I got my heart crushed, it was her. All my wild and crazy escapades she warned me not to get into, she was always there to lecture me and try to steer me in the right direction. Her famous line I heard the most during those eventful times was “Ay little girl, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble”…though she was right, I sometimes feel that she has lived and experienced things through me that she never had. My folks eloped at a young age and are still together, she’s never dabbed in the party girl lifestyle, and was all about my father and us. I on the other hand…well that’s a whole other story…but you can imagine. haha!  I have so many memories with my mom, its an endless list of them and that list is still growing. From our serious conversations, inside jokes, and disagreements.

248795_471105589617806_623333446_nMy mom and I are so different, she’s kind of naive, shy, silly, and a total girly girl…I have to admit, I am the complete opposite of her. While she loves to shop for her shoes, purses, and matching accessories ..you’ll find me at Best Buy or Academy wearing a baseball cap! Haha! But because we are so different we not only balance & complement each other, we also learn a lot from one another. She has taught me to think things through, to give in a little, and to let my guard down a bit from time to time. In return, I have taught her to speak her mind, stand up for what she believes in, to give her opinion, and that it’s ok as a wife to want your way sometimes. Hey times have changed, right?  And as much as she does for my father, he can certainly return it x10! Ha!  Because of this, we have grown to be friends as well as strengthening our mother daughter bond.

Mother’s day reminds me of how blessed I am to have a mom like her. Didn’t matter 946712_524420270953004_1142140332_nwhat phase I was in, she never loved me any less or looked down on me. I got slapped a few times for being a smartass…but I totally deserved it. (I’ll only admit that this once. lol) Yes, maybe she didn’t like some of the self inflicted obstacles I put myself through or the experiences that came my way, but she was always there to comfort me the best she could. I wish she would see what I see in her; she is a woman of grace, compassion, childlike, more secure in herself than she thinks, and most of all the strength of the family. It’s funny, everyone that knows my father sees this tough, machismo, Hispanic man…and yes, he is that…but the strong one between my parents is my mother. There is no way my father would be able to handle all that my mom has endured by being a parent to the three of us and it takes a special women to be married to someone as driven and macho as my father. She not only holds all of us together and keeps us close, its because of her we have spirituality in our lives.

Happy Mother’s day Mom, you have been a true blessing in so many lives and especially ours. Though life didn’t start out with a happy beginning for you, it brought you to a very blessed life with Dad, the three of us kids, your two grandsons, & all our doggies. We love you more than words could ever express. ❤

 

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April M. Monterrosa is the Owner of  The Lil Spa Room , a proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, Mama of a Dachshund, & a licensed Cosmetologist of 19+ years. Check out my Beauty Blog at: lilsparoom.com

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Old School Moms: How Did They Do it All?

I am a part of the Wonderfully Wise Women private facebook group. I enjoy reading and sharing with the other women in there. Because there are so many different age ranges, you can imagine how different some of the responses are to whatever questions, vents, & rants that are posted in there.  A close friend of my daughter’s posted this one question that hit home. To avoid upsetting anyone and sharing my opinion with other women, I was motivated to write this blog. Plus I now have a chance to share some of my personal stories. Let me start off by sharing the post:

mom, motherhood, balance“Momma G……

Why did Mommyhood look so much easier when I was a kid? Mom raised 3 of, us, kept up with the house, and got us all where we needed to be. She never looked tired, never got sick, and got it all done.

I can’t seem to keep up with my 2 lil rug rats, the full time job, the house, the husband, etc……… ~sigh~

Surely I’m not the only one who feels this way.”

So this is my response:

I became a mom at 21 years old; I had 3 children, 1 daughter & 2 sons. I grew up in the era where if you kissed a boy on the mouth you’d get pregnant. My mother did not in any way prepare me for motherhood. I helped take care of my siblings so naturally, I had maternal instincts. When raising my children, I was sometimes a stay at home mom, and when times were tough, I would work fulltime. I was blessed with a husband that was a great provider, but sometimes, finances were tight being that we had 3 children.  My husband had a full time job, was a musician at night, and worked on the side to build up his own business. In between that, he would make time to do family things with our children. Since he had a full plate on his hands being the man of the house, it was only fair that I hold up my end of the household. Being a team is what’s made my marriage work for over 40 years.

Was I ever tired? Of course, I’m not superwoman! Was I ever sick? Like a dog sometimes. Did I get it all done? You bet I did. There is no such thing as a perfect mom, but I gave my all, and did my best. When I was working while my kids were younger, I would wake up in the morning, make breakfast, get coffee ready, get the kids dressed, see the husband off to work, and in between all that, do my hair and makeup to go to work myself. Depending on what our schedules were like, we would take turns taking the kids to school. After work, I would go straight to pick up the kids from school. The only time I had help with a sitter was when my daughter was a baby and my mother in law would take care of her. By the time the boys came along, she was in school and the preschool the boys went to, I was able to get a job there to help my husband pay the tuition.

The older the kids got, my daughter, being the oldest helped pick them up from school after she got off the bus from the school she attended. They would wait for me to get home and I would start on dinner while I helped with homework, threw in a load of laundry, made sure my husband’s work shirts were ironed, and unwound from my long day at work at the same time. After dinner was bedtime, then to do it all over again the next day. This was my daily routine aside from also being a supportive wife. There were times I was exhausted, I wanted to just break down and cry, I needed a break too! Did I ever get one, no…did I complain…never.

I get a kick out of women…or should I say girls nowadays, they can’t handle ANYTHING alone. Times are no different now than they were back when I was a mother. There have always been single moms, women have always worked, and marriage has always been about being a team. The reason I think mothers can’t handle a full plate is because they simply don’t want too. They don’t want to deal with homework, crying kids, keeping a home spic and span, cook homemade meals, or make time for their husbands. Mothers now depend on family to help them out, would rather stick a video game or a movie in front of their kid’s faces than take them outside to play, and have made happy hours a must. I never even knew what happy hour was till my daughter told me. When it was time for grocery shopping, doctor appointments, even my yearly visit, I had my 3 kids with me, whether I was sick, tired, sleepy, not having a good day, they were with me. I did not have the option to leave them with anyone. As tired as I was, as much as I wanted a break, I had to suck it up because that was my job as a mother, to take care of my children, my husband, and our home.

The only thing different about these times now is things are more expensive, technology is more advanced, and people don’t discipline their children or spend time with them like they should. In fact I think things are easier now. There’s so many afterschool programs, more government assistance, and because girls are needier, their parents do more for them as well as husbands taking on more mom duties. I laugh when I hear other moms say times are different, because the only thing different in my eyes is how spoiled and lazy these girls are now a days.  Instead of laying around on your spare time catching up with TV shows, playing games on your phone, get up off your but, clean your house, cook a meal for your husband, read your child a story, have a conversation with them, and simply use your time wisely. There is always something to do! Mom duties have ALWAYS and always will be there, we get no breaks. As a mom, I was a cook, a taxi driver, a counselor, a nurse, a teacher, a PTA & band booster president, a seamstress, an event planner, a tour guide, and my list of duties was and is never ending since I now take care of my grandsons. Motherhood is very rewarding but it’s the hardest job out there and not for everyone.

So you want to know how I managed to do it all?

Well for starters I was never lazy; I didn’t depend on my husband to do everything on top of all that he was doing for the family already, I pulled my weight and was strong for the sake of my children and my marriage. A real woman does what she has to do, and that’s it. She doesn’t turn to alcohol, drugs, make excuses for herself, just give up and quit, throw tantrums, or expect others to do everything for her. You put on your big girl panties on and handle your business.

norma galindo, wonderfully wise women

Norma Galindo, “Mama G”, is the Grande Dame of Wonderfully Wise Women. The reigning queen who brings the wisdom of the crone into a modern-day, social media monopolized world where gender roles are more fluid than ever before and the traditional family unit has become something unrecognizable to women of her era. She is the example of stability, strength and grace in a world gone wild and we are grateful for her guidance.
Though some may not agree,
all stop to listen to Mama G.