What I’ve Learned about Marriage in 2013

2013 I hit 3 years of being married. Having been very public about my separation on social media, I can honestly say it’s been very therapeutic for me and inspirational for others. I am nothing special, I’m just a woman that wants to be loved and adored like any other. Love hit me like a ton of bricks, hard and unexpected. But like anything else, it can’t always be fun and games. I can’t even remember when and how things got to where they are now between my husband and I. All I know is both sides aren’t perfect and have made mistakes.
This year, as a married woman, I’ve learned that when you love someone it can feel like you’re invincible one second and like you’re losing your mind the next. We as people make bad choices sometimes and fail to realize that we are only cheating ourselves and scaring those we truly love.
We were all taught how to love differently growing up. All we can do is love our spouses the best we can, appreciate them for all that they are, be patient, forgive as much as we can, but continue to love ourselves too.
As individuals we all have our weaknesses and strengths; but together, we have to figure out how they all mesh well enough to make things work.
I grew up with parents that have been married over 40 years, they’ve been an amazing example of what to do and not do in a marriage, no matter how angry you are your spouse still comes first, and just because vows were broken doesn’t mean you have to throw your vows out the window. In marriage, every couple makes their own rules and handles things differently.
The both of us have inner demons and struggles we need to overcome, that doesn’t mean there isn’t any love between us. With the new year approaching I know what I have to do on my end of the marriage for my husband, the both of us, and especially for myself. Only a higher power knows the future so all I can do is work with what I have in the present and leave the past behind.

To others going through martial struggles: It doesn’t matter what differences your spouse and you have, how much therapy you go through, what advice is given to you, & what your mind tells you…you can’t help who your heart loves. Do what makes you happy, take things day by day, and if you feel it in your gut not to quit, then don’t.
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Like You’ll Never Be Loved Again

Has someone ever loved you so much they know your every move? The kind of mood you’re in just by the tone of your voice. If you’ve had a good day, a bad one, or just an ordinary one.  They know the curves of your face, the exact detail of your eye color, how your hair smells, and how your hands feel.  They know the kind of soup you like when you’re feeling under the weather; they show up with flowers just to make you smile for no reason at all. They look at you and see right through you, they know when you’re fibbing, when you’re scared, or when you’re the most confident.  You’re the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, even on your ugliest days. They write you poetry, send you song lyrics that remind you of them, and every site of beauty they see has your face imprinted on it. They constantly ask you questions about your past, show interest in your present, and hope to be a part of your future. They know when to back off to give you space, how to comfort you on a sad day, and act silly just to make you laugh. They can’t get enough of your company, are saddened when you have to part ways, and make plans to immediately see you soon.  When they lay right beside you still in the night, no conversation is needed and a bond is still felt even in the silence.  When the two of you make love, all disappears from your mind; you’re so wrapped up in the moment tears stream down your face. When you say goodbye it seems like forever till you’re joined again. Love

If you’re loved like this now, treat it preciously, guard it with your life, and make sure you take care of it because you may never have the chance to have that again. I believe only one person comes along in our life that loves us this much. Most of the time we take it for granted and treat it as if it would last forever. Forever only lasts when we give the same kind of love in return, if not, we lose it. No matter how hard we try to replace it when it’s gone, it will never be the same. Love those more that love you this way.

aprilmaemonterrosaApril M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, & Owner of The Lil Spa Room,  PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, & freelance beauty writer. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, & travel adventures. Don’t forget to subscribe!