Healthy Sex Life=Healthy Skin

As they say, love and laughter is good for the body and soul. But it’s not only good for the body and soul; it’s also great for your skin.  Now in the beauty industry for over 17 years and in my mid 30’s I am beginning to take extra care of my skin and pay close attention to the fine lines that are now starting to appear. What I have noticed is how my skin glows a bit more these days since I’m taking better care of it, I have had less breakouts, and my tone and texture seem a tad more even.  It’s been while since I have had an intense chemical peel or anything aggressive that would give my skin such benefits.

I remember when my husband had come home after a long deployment; I finally had a chance to enjoy being a newlywed & was living, laughing, and most definitely “loving” a lot more.  What I didn’t realize is how all the newlywed bliss had really made an impact on my skin. Total flawlessness…(in my eyes at least). Its amazing how being in love, being loved back, and having a healthy sex life improves your skin. Next to luxurious spa treatments, happiness, and laughter, sex is the ultimate spa beauty treatment.

 Stop searching for the fountain of youth, getting busy could set your clock back a few years as far as your appearance is concerned. Sex increases blood circulation, which in turn increases oxygen supply to the skin cells, resulting in a natural brightening effect, better hydration and keeps that skin from being on the dry side. This doesn’t mean you can replace your eight glasses of water a day either, so keep drinking that water.  Since it also boosts collagen production, it fights off age spots, sagging, and keeps those wrinkles from creeping up on your skin, maybe even better then some of the facial masks on the market today. Your skin is not the only thing gaining strength and luster, so are your nails and hair.

As you start to sweat during a heated rendezvous sweating releases natural oils that lubricate and hydrate your skin. Those natural oils are what keep your skin looking dewy and fresh. Sweating can also help cleanse and detoxify the skin which can get rid of toxins and impurities in your pores. Think of your sexual perspiration as a free mini facial; just be sure to give your skin a cleansing before going to sleep to eliminate clogged pores. With all that blood circulation going on just think of the noticeable glow you will have after your love session. You’ll have pink lips, rosy cheeks, dewy skin, & shiny eyes for at least a couple of days …who needs a trip to the cosmetic counter with all that!

The big O not only reduces stress, it also lowers blood pressure, calms your nerves, eases the mind, and hits you with an intense wave of calmness. So maybe you can put off going to the spa for some relaxation or taking that sleeping pill to help you fight off those sleepless nights. Adding sex to your bedtime routine can very much relieve stress. After enjoying the deed for a while with a happy ending is sure to put you into a peaceful sleep which can help resolve those sleep issues. Post-sex sleep is restorative, so you’ll wake up refreshed, looking alive, and with reduced under-eye circles and puffiness. 

Many of us are so determined to stay looking young as long as possible that we invest in all sorts of makeup, creams, lotions, and potions. Although all of these things certainly go a long way to help us accomplish younger looking skin, it can get a bit expensive. Regular sexual engagement can be our “magic anti-aging product” and help make us look younger while not costing us a dime. Sex is a physical action that stimulates the body and mind. With proper diet, regular exercise, take vitamins, and healthy sex life, you make sure you get older with a healthy process. So heat up that bed and remember, putting more wrinkles in the sheets =fewer wrinkles on your skin!

April M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, & Owner of The Lil Spa Room,  PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, & freelance beauty writer. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, & travel adventures. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Like You’ll Never Be Loved Again

Has someone ever loved you so much they know your every move? The kind of mood you’re in just by the tone of your voice. If you’ve had a good day, a bad one, or just an ordinary one.  They know the curves of your face, the exact detail of your eye color, how your hair smells, and how your hands feel.  They know the kind of soup you like when you’re feeling under the weather; they show up with flowers just to make you smile for no reason at all. They look at you and see right through you, they know when you’re fibbing, when you’re scared, or when you’re the most confident.  You’re the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, even on your ugliest days. They write you poetry, send you song lyrics that remind you of them, and every site of beauty they see has your face imprinted on it. They constantly ask you questions about your past, show interest in your present, and hope to be a part of your future. They know when to back off to give you space, how to comfort you on a sad day, and act silly just to make you laugh. They can’t get enough of your company, are saddened when you have to part ways, and make plans to immediately see you soon.  When they lay right beside you still in the night, no conversation is needed and a bond is still felt even in the silence.  When the two of you make love, all disappears from your mind; you’re so wrapped up in the moment tears stream down your face. When you say goodbye it seems like forever till you’re joined again. Love

If you’re loved like this now, treat it preciously, guard it with your life, and make sure you take care of it because you may never have the chance to have that again. I believe only one person comes along in our life that loves us this much. Most of the time we take it for granted and treat it as if it would last forever. Forever only lasts when we give the same kind of love in return, if not, we lose it. No matter how hard we try to replace it when it’s gone, it will never be the same. Love those more that love you this way.

aprilmaemonterrosaApril M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, & Owner of The Lil Spa Room,  PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, & freelance beauty writer. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, & travel adventures. Don’t forget to subscribe!

No Tears This Time

Sitting at the airport I’m reminiscing about the last time I was here…just a few months ago actually. Newly separated, no sleep, feeling empty, I walked into the airport and felt like I was the only one there. As crowded and noisy as an airport could be, it was so quiet to me, I swear I could hear my heartbeat. I literally cried from walking into the airport till I reached my destination. Did people turn their heads and look at me? Of course they did, I was crying so badly you would’ve thought I was just at a funeral. When you’re that wounded, you could careless what people think.

image

That was the first time I was traveling without my husband by my side. I’ll admit, I felt guilty and like there was something missing. How could I not…we went everywhere together.
My getaway at that time was suppose to be nothing but fun in the sun, to get my mind off things, to aid in my healing process. But…how are you suppose to enjoy yourself with a broken heart? Well…you don’t, plain and simple. As much as I tried not to, I literally cried everyday, never got out of pajamas, and wasted all the breathtaking scenery around me because of my sadness. Talk about a waste, I just didn’t have it in me to enjoy myself, I really did try.
This time around months have past, things have changed, and though I’m not as strong as I’d like to be I’m in a better place. Being separated has taught me so much about what I need to do for me, all I have in my life, which people matter the most, & if someone has to choose between you and something or someone else it’s better to let them go. If a person really loves you…there would NOT be any choices to make, YOU would be it. As much as you’d like to shake someone to wake up and realize what they’ll lose, it’s impossible to make someone realize they’re on the verge of losing every single thing they’ve always wanted. You can’t fix damaged people even if you love them with all your might.

image

I’m sitting in the airport right now, with butterflies of excitement in my tummy and a smile so big it looks painted on face. I can not wait to smell that coastal breeze, feel the sand between my toes, drink margaritas made with homegrown limes, wake up to golden sunrises, go to bed after fiery sunsets, and most of all be with my bestie who’s like a sister to me and her boys that are my nephews. I know good karma is on my side because I gave with all my heart and soul and without expecting ANYTHING in return.

image

My family is my never ending strength that loves me unconditionally no matter what decisions I make, my close friends keep my grounded and help me see different views on things, and the new acquaintances that have entered into my life have been a breath of nothing but laughs and positive fresh air. Life isn’t perfect, but the people that are in mine make it pretty close and that in itself makes ME shine beautifully.

aprilmaemonterrosaApril M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, & Owner of The Lil Spa Room,  PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, & freelance beauty writer. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, & travel adventures. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Sept 3: My 3rd Year of Marriage

3-year-anniversary (1)Today is my 3rd year wedding anniversary. Three years ago I never would’ve thought I’d be saying that at all, much less writing it. Far from your traditional marriage, I still took the plunge and became a military wife. Funny how life turns out; unexpected twists and turns of love, loss, heartache, bliss, and never-ending surprises. This year was particularly hard. Both of us have been through huge transitions and handled them the best and only way we knew how. Unfortunately, it was the wrong way. I’ve always been too ambitious and impulsive for my own good, while my other half is patient and cautious. Opposites attract right? I guess that’s why it had been working so well. Again, I’ll admit, this year has been a rather difficult one.

Between therapy, alone time, and dealing with my own inner demons, I’ve learned a lot about marriage, life, and 6863_20121109_170345_75913_413125865425792_1535894639_n1myself. I’ve learned not everyone is the speed demon I am, I’m not the same person I use to be, some things aren’t as important, if someone really wants you no excuses will be made, anyone can change if they want to, and sometimes you got to take your time and not use your emotions to make huge decisions. As for marriage, I’ve learned that your spouse should come before your career, especially if they’re supportive of your every move and just want a tinny tiny bit of undivided attention. I’ve also learned that even though you’re extremely upset, you need to bite your tongue if any ugliness is on its way to coming out. Words spewed out in heartache and anger can really break someone’s heart.

579784_4042463780429_465533200_nI use to be one of those “marriage is a piece of paper” people. Now that I have one of those pieces of paper, I know now it’s far much more than that. When you marry for true love, you lose yourself, you give more chances, you forgive more, you ache harder, and even though you want to run away from it all, that bond of marriage gives you more gall to fight for it. I’m talking real unconditional love, the kind where you forgive and want things better not like they were, respecting your vows, and knowing you can’t nor want to be without your spouse.

Marriage has its highs and lows; I’m learning it can’t always be a honeymoon. Though this year has been difficult, the both of us are trying to find each other again along with ourselves, we still laugh with one another, the towel hasn’t been completely thrown in, & I still feel blessed to have him in my life. I’ve given and invested so much in quotesthis marriage; it may last, it may not. I can’t see the future and neither can anyone else so any negative opinions will be paid no attention to. With any not so good situation, the blessings are there. With everything that’s happened its lead me to some pretty awesome things; I am now my own boss, I’m the strongest I’ve ever been, I have more pride in my accomplishments, my home is filled with more love, had the chance to travel, enjoy life, make new friends, and find the person I want to be.

Trying times can produce the most valuable lessons in life. Those that truly love you will accept whatever decision you make or direction you decide to go and be there for you when you’re blissfully happy or torn up to pieces. So to my husband, the both of us are full of imperfections, no mistake is worse than the other, both of our fingers are too dirty to keep pointing at each other and I’m glad we’re slowly getting away from that whether we are under the same roof or not. We can now only hope for the best since we’ve been through the worst. Thank you for helping me learn more about myself, allowing me to grow and branch out to new opportunities, and mostly, for still loving and supporting me in every way possible despite the mess we’ve made. Happy anniversary & much love always.

About the Author:

Beauty Writer & Lifestyle Blogger April M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, Owner of The Lil Spa Room, & a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, travel adventures, & an array of other topics. Don’t forget to subscribe!

A Must Read: What Oprah says about Men

I came across this piece written by Oprah Winfrey. Her words are pure common sense and luckily I was raised to not know otherwise. Unfortunately, not all women were as blessed and put up with things they shouldn’t and don’t know their worth. Maybe after reading this piece if will give them a better outlook and they will have the strength to do what is best for them, their children, & their future.

oprahBy Oprah:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending… Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary…
not supplementary.

Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes… When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says… You should know that: You’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he’s not the only one. They’re all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts… ❤

2040_10200133690965479_1403608009_n

April M. Monterrosa is the Owner of  The Lil Spa Room , PCA Skin Certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, Founder of  Wonderfully Wise Women, & a Writer for SAXtreme Magazine. Just a simple &  Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Marine Corps wife, Mama of a Dachshund, & a licensed Cosmetologist of 17+ years, blogging about things I love most…Beauty, Love, Life, Spa, Wine, and everything else in between! Check out my Beauty Blog at: lilsparoom.com

Relationship Tips for the Clueless

Being a newlywed, I am a big fan of readings based on relationships. Some of the advice & tips I agree with, some I do not.  But it is nice to read different opinions and perspectives on things. Here are some great relationship tips I came across. Hope you enjoy and share them.

Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important.

Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others.

Know your partner’s beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don’t want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they’ll create it where it doesn’t exist.

Don’t confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love. Know your needs and speak up for them clearly.

A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs.

Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.

Respect, respect, respect. Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship.

View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team—your differences.

Know how to manage differences; it’s the key to success in a relationship.

Disagreements don’t sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them. If you don’t understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it.

Talk and explore, don’t assume. Solve problems as they arise. Don’t let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies. Learn to negotiate.

Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people’s needs are fluid and change over time, and life’s demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.

Listen, truly listen, to your partner’s concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Plus it opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.

Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn’t happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn’t an end goal; it’s a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.

Take a long-range view. A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together.

Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you’re both on the same path. Update your dreams regularly.

Never underestimate the power of good grooming.

Sex is good. Pillow talk is better. Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. It requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, confiding concerns, fears, sadnesses as well as hopes and dreams.

Never go to sleep angry. Try a little tenderness. Apologize, apologize, apologize. Anyone can make a mistake. Repair attempts are crucial—highly predictive of marital happiness. They can be clumsy or funny, even sarcastic—but willingness to make up after an argument is central to every happy marriage.

Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. It’s easier for someone to like you and to be around you when you like yourself. Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of self-esteem they have.

Enrich your relationship by bringing into it new interests from outside the relationship. The more passions in life that you have and share, the richer your relationship will be. It is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs in life.

Cooperate, cooperate, cooperate. Share responsibilities. Relationships work ONLY when they are two-way streets, with much give and take. Stay open to spontaneity.

Maintain your energy. Stay healthy. Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs and do not ride at a continuous high all the time.

Working together through the hard times will make the relationship stronger. Make good sense of a bad relationship by examining it as a reflection of your beliefs about yourself.

Don’t just run away from a bad relationship; you’ll only repeat it with the next partner. Use it as a mirror to look at yourself, to understand what in you is creating this relationship.

Change yourself before you change your relationship. Understand that love is not an absolute, not a limited commodity that you’re in of or out of. It’s a feeling that ebbs and flows depending on how you treat each other. If you learn new ways to interact, the feelings can come flowing back, often stronger than before.

About April M. Monterrosa 

 April M. Monterrosa is Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Marine Corps wife, Mama of a Dachshund, licensed Cosmetologist &  The Lil Spa Room Owner Founder of the Wonderfully Wise Women Group, Blog, & Online Magazine, a Writer for SAXtreme Magazine, PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, & a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor.

Follow Your Head, Not Your Heart

The famous saying, “Follow your heart”, can sometimes be the worst. Women tell each other this crock of shit line all the time. Now, before you think I’m a heartless bitch, let me explain why, I’ve stopped following my heart.

The older I get and now being happily married, I’ve thought about past relationships, why they didn’t work, why I put up with things I normally wouldn’t have. The reason is, I was following my heart. Most of us women are hopeless romantics, some show it more than others, but it’s natural for us women to want romance, it’s how we’re built. I think most of my failed relationships have been from following my heart. Had I listened to my brain instead, I probably wouldn’t have wasted so much time in some of the relationships I had been in.

When we follow our hearts, we over look things, put up with stuff, and sometimes even loose ourselves. The biggest thing with following your heart is it can put you in an unhealthy relationship. Even though your head tells you otherwise, you ignore it because of what the heart yearns for. In my opinion, if your heart and head are saying the same thing and you’re in a healthy, happy relationship, congrats to you, that’s so hard to find. Most women ignore what their head says, follow their hearts, and never really get that happiness they want or deserve.

My last relationship prior to my husband was very rocky, yes, because I followed my heart. After that ended and I was dating, I stopped following my heart and paid close attention to what my head would tell me. I have to admit, it saved me from wasting time on those that didn’t have me in their best interest, ending up with a life that I didn’t want, getting hurt, and most of  all, being in an unhealthy relationship. This is something many people forget to do in the beginning stages of a relationship. It’s so easy to follow your heart and ignore signs or red flags that are screaming “no, not this one” at you. This is why women settle, waste years on someone they’re hoping will change and treat them better, and end up losing themselves entirely.

When my husband came along, my heart was screaming for me to listen to it. It took all my strength to listen to my head first and I did. Even though I was head over heels in love, I had to think about what my value to him was, how he treated me, was I his priority, was he selfish, was I his queen, his equal, did he love me like I loved him…these are the kinds of things I thought about. I was not going to waste years with someone, again, being unhappy, I knew better this time around, and I know what I deserve.

I have now been married two years. Being a military wife, not living together immediately, and deployments made things tough, I’ll admit. But following my head and not my heart has put be in a happy marriage and I am treated the way I wanna be and deserve to be.

About April M. Monterrosa 

 April M. Monterrosa is Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Marine Corps wife, Mama of a Dachshund, licensed Cosmetologist & Owner of The Lil Spa Room, Founder of the Wonderfully Wise Women Group, Blog, & Online Magazine, a Writer for SAXtreme Magazine, PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, & a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor.

image