A Must Read: What Oprah says about Men

I came across this piece written by Oprah Winfrey. Her words are pure common sense and luckily I was raised to not know otherwise. Unfortunately, not all women were as blessed and put up with things they shouldn’t and don’t know their worth. Maybe after reading this piece if will give them a better outlook and they will have the strength to do what is best for them, their children, & their future.

oprahBy Oprah:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending… Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary…
not supplementary.

Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes… When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says… You should know that: You’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he’s not the only one. They’re all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts… ❤

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April M. Monterrosa is the Owner of  The Lil Spa Room , PCA Skin Certified, a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor, Founder of  Wonderfully Wise Women, & a Writer for SAXtreme Magazine. Just a simple &  Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Marine Corps wife, Mama of a Dachshund, & a licensed Cosmetologist of 17+ years, blogging about things I love most…Beauty, Love, Life, Spa, Wine, and everything else in between! Check out my Beauty Blog at: lilsparoom.com

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The Holiday Hookup

I was in the dating scene a long time so I picked up a few tricks of my own and this was one of them…the holiday hookup. Now that the holidays are over, I’m hearing about lots of breakouts from friends that are in the dating scene and it reminded me of a guy I dated once. If you were dating someone exclusively and now that the holidays are over and so are they, it may be because they simply don’t want to be committed. Been there, done that. You’re dating someone before the holidays and it’s going ok, not like you want, there are still signs that who you’re dating is not as committed as you are…but you hang in there because you’re really into the person you’re seeing, maybe you’re even in love with them. Besides, who wants to go through a breakup during the holidays anyway, right?

The holidays are here.. everyone is joyous, merry, and you’re relationship has taken a higher level. You and your sweetheart have grown closer to each other, are spending more time together, and you’re now gonna meet the family. All the signs they showed you of not being committed  100% to the relationship prior to the holiday season has now just been deleted off your mind. You’re head over heels, this it is, he’s finally coming around, things are perfect…everything between the two of you were complete bliss from Thanksgiving to New year’s day.

We are now two weeks into the new year and your sweetie one day just doesn’t call…No text messages…and does not even reply to yours. The wheels in your mind started turning and turning…they’re at turbo speed bringing back all the doubts and memories of how unstable things were before the holidays. Finally, your long lost love decides to contact you, now you could either be mad at them for blowing you off or sad because you’re hurt…or both…depends on your personality and how you handle things. Either way, I guarantee, the reason for their disappearance is gonna be the same.

“I think we need time apart”, “it’s not you, it’s me”, “I need space”, “I don’t know what I want” are probably the most used phrases holiday hookups use to get out of being in the relationship. People change during the holiday season, some want to take someone to their family’s house or just not be alone. There are even those that are lame and just wanna receive Christmas gifts! Either way it’s unfair to you if you’re giving your all to make this work. When the holidays are over and they really don’t wanna be in a relationship, out comes the bullshit.

These are signs and red flags of someone that wants you and the loving relationship, but still be able to keep their options open like a single person. If you’re dating someone, make sure they’re consistent, make sure they are the holiday honey year round. After all you deserve someone that puts in everything you do to make a relationship work. And no one wants a ho ho ho! 🙂

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