It finally happened. My step daughter came to visit us in Texas. Not only did we have the opportunity to pick her up ourselves in Washington; it was also a fun memory to travel back with her to Texas. This was a first for all of us; her mom, her step dad, my husband, me, and all of our families. She had never been away from home or her mom for more than a couple of days. This time she’d be gone for over 3 weeks, in another state, and spending part of her summer vacation here and meeting all her Texas family. I have to admit, as much as friends were worried for me, I wasn’t nervous at all. Being an older sister, having a take charge personality, and wanting to get to know my step daughter, I was actually pretty excited. As much as I love my husband, how could I not love his child that looks so much like him anyway? I was ready to create lots of fun family memories.
Being a step parent isn’t easy at all. I think when families are blended, lots of patience, energy, effort, and sacrifice takes a huge part in making sure the children between everyone grow in good directions. When jealously, bitterness, and old harsh feelings are still felt by anyone in a blended family, the only ones that suffer are the children. Kids see and hear things more than we give them credit for. Though it wasn’t an easy task to get to where we are now, took a couple of years, and lots of very deep conversations, I can honestly say it was well worth it.
I believe having my step daughter here for 3 weeks has helped each and every one of us grow as individuals. Her mom got to enjoy some alone time with her spouse, my family & I got to know my step daughter , and most of all my husband got to make some wonderful lasting memories with his little girl. The biggest thing this summer visit did was help all of us all parents get on the same page when it comes to discipline. Between my husband, myself, my step daughter’s mom, and her other half, we all have very different upbringings. Though that can be a tough thing when it comes to agreeing on discipline techniques, I am very blessed that everyone involved has an open mind and heart, working as a team, and finds its best to discuss behavioral issues together.
We all want what’s best for the children in our lives. Being a step parent, the role in your step child’s life is just as important as their parents because you also are setting examples for them. Every one contributes something special to the children involved in a blended family. I am very lucky that my step daughter’s mom and I get along great. We all have the same goal and that’s to raise my step daughter to be a confident, strong young woman. All of us here in Texas are looking forward to many more visits and memories. Being a step parent is a good thing; it means that your heart is so full of love for your spouse, that you have plenty to give to his children.
“A stepmother might have to rise above a little more than everyone else to make everything go smoothly and for everyone to feel comfortable. Step moms are not around to replace a biological parent, rather to augment a child’s life experience.”