Today is my 3rd year wedding anniversary. Three years ago I never would’ve thought I’d be saying that at all, much less writing it. Far from your traditional marriage, I still took the plunge and became a military wife. Funny how life turns out; unexpected twists and turns of love, loss, heartache, bliss, and never-ending surprises. This year was particularly hard. Both of us have been through huge transitions and handled them the best and only way we knew how. Unfortunately, it was the wrong way. I’ve always been too ambitious and impulsive for my own good, while my other half is patient and cautious. Opposites attract right? I guess that’s why it had been working so well. Again, I’ll admit, this year has been a rather difficult one.
Between therapy, alone time, and dealing with my own inner demons, I’ve learned a lot about marriage, life, and myself. I’ve learned not everyone is the speed demon I am, I’m not the same person I use to be, some things aren’t as important, if someone really wants you no excuses will be made, anyone can change if they want to, and sometimes you got to take your time and not use your emotions to make huge decisions. As for marriage, I’ve learned that your spouse should come before your career, especially if they’re supportive of your every move and just want a tinny tiny bit of undivided attention. I’ve also learned that even though you’re extremely upset, you need to bite your tongue if any ugliness is on its way to coming out. Words spewed out in heartache and anger can really break someone’s heart.
I use to be one of those “marriage is a piece of paper” people. Now that I have one of those pieces of paper, I know now it’s far much more than that. When you marry for true love, you lose yourself, you give more chances, you forgive more, you ache harder, and even though you want to run away from it all, that bond of marriage gives you more gall to fight for it. I’m talking real unconditional love, the kind where you forgive and want things better not like they were, respecting your vows, and knowing you can’t nor want to be without your spouse.
Marriage has its highs and lows; I’m learning it can’t always be a honeymoon. Though this year has been difficult, the both of us are trying to find each other again along with ourselves, we still laugh with one another, the towel hasn’t been completely thrown in, & I still feel blessed to have him in my life. I’ve given and invested so much in this marriage; it may last, it may not. I can’t see the future and neither can anyone else so any negative opinions will be paid no attention to. With any not so good situation, the blessings are there. With everything that’s happened its lead me to some pretty awesome things; I am now my own boss, I’m the strongest I’ve ever been, I have more pride in my accomplishments, my home is filled with more love, had the chance to travel, enjoy life, make new friends, and find the person I want to be.
Trying times can produce the most valuable lessons in life. Those that truly love you will accept whatever decision you make or direction you decide to go and be there for you when you’re blissfully happy or torn up to pieces. So to my husband, the both of us are full of imperfections, no mistake is worse than the other, both of our fingers are too dirty to keep pointing at each other and I’m glad we’re slowly getting away from that whether we are under the same roof or not. We can now only hope for the best since we’ve been through the worst. Thank you for helping me learn more about myself, allowing me to grow and branch out to new opportunities, and mostly, for still loving and supporting me in every way possible despite the mess we’ve made. Happy anniversary & much love always.
About the Author:
Beauty Writer & Lifestyle Blogger April M. Monterrosa is a Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Military wife, the mama of a dachshund, a licensed Cosmetologist of 18 years, Owner of The Lil Spa Room, & a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor. With beauty & blogging being such passions, Shine Beautifully was born. Shine Beautifully will feature beauty tips, home remedies, quotes, poetry, recipes, personal stories, travel adventures, & an array of other topics. Don’t forget to subscribe!